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Naughty Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving:
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s Cool Whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants I’ll burst!
5. That’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. You still have a little bit on your chin.
14. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up!

Word Count: 162

OK… this is fricken hilarious…

Yes, honestly it’s a real person and real people… they not only cut beards, but HAIR!! Yes, they FORCIBLY were doing it… Is there some irony in that name and the crimes they are accused of… sounds like a story from the Onion… but it’s not. Just really funny… OK… sorry, these are HATE crimes…it is so insensitive of me, because that’s no laughing matter.

But come on… is this not funny to you too?? LOL…

Amish haircut attacks: Sam Mullet and 6 ‘beard cutters’ charged with hate crimes

Word Count: 108

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“Out of the Mouths of Babes” – If I child gets it, why can’t liberals?”

I recently asked my friends’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United States.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So I asked her, “If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?” She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”

Her parents proudly beamed. “Wow…what a wo…rthy goal,” I told her. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. Tell you what – you can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I’ll pay you $50.

Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house. How about doing something wonderful like that?”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

(True Story as told by Christopher Lawrence)

Word Count: 294

Thanks to all my fellow Veterans and to those currently serving. We may not always agree with where they are sent, or why they must do what they often are called to do, but one thing we hopefully should all agree on, is how grateful we are to live in a land that is free, because people are willing and able to stand, come forward and heed the call, to honorably follow the orders of their leaders and defend us from those who would take away.

Again, thank you to ALL who have paid the highest price and thank you for all that support those who paid that price or that currently serve or have served or that support those who continue to serve today. May we remember each and every one of them. 11-11-11 ☺

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